The birth of the internet

I wrote this script for a brief entitled 'Birth of the internet', but it's main purpose was to set up a yet to be written script for an upcoming (and yet to be themed) surreal comedy brief.

EXT. ROOFTOP

THERE IS A TABLE CONTAINING A PILE OF COLOURED TENNIS BALLS, 2 TENNIS RACKETS, A PILE OF NOTES AND A SMALL CANNON

HECTOR AND SAUL ARE LOOKING AT THE ITEMS - HECTOR WITH PRIDE, SAUL WITH CONFUSION

BOTH MEN ARE DRESSED IN TYPICAL 70'S CLOTHING

A SUBTITLE READS: 1971

SAUL:
So, what is it?

HECTOR: (PROUDLY)
This my friend, is the information super motorway

SAUL:
The what?

HECTOR:
The Overnet

SAUL:
Come again?

HECTOR:
The Overnet. It's sort of like a communication network, but with balls

SAUL:
Did you lose your job again?

HECTOR:
Watch, I'll show you.

HECTOR PICKS UP ONE OF THE NOTES

HECTOR:
I've written a quick note here that I want to send to Giblet Gibbons

SAUL:
Who?

HECTOR:
Giblet Gibbons - he's a character in one of Yielding's entries for the surreal script challenge.

SAUL:
But that challenge isn't until next week - they haven't even decided on a topic for it yet!

HECTOR:
Yes, but this is just a prototype so it's still a bit slow. You have to sort of... plan ahead. Once it's out of Beta you'll be able to send instant messages to any script on 4laughs.

SAUL:
What's a Beta?

IGNORING THE QUESTION, HECTOR FOLDS THE NOTE AND POKES IT INTO A HOLE IN ONE OF THE TENNIS BALLS

HECTOR:
All you need to do, is pop your note into one of these.. drop it in here..

HECTOR DROPS THE BALL INTO THE CANNON

HECTOR:
.. and pull this.

HECTOR PULLS A CORD AT THE BACK OF THE CANNON AND THE BALL IS FIRED OFF INTO THE DISTANCE

SAUL:
And that'll get there will it?

HECTOR:
Safe and sound

SAUL:
And it'll take a week?

HECTOR:
Give or take - yes

SAUL:
So let me get this straight - you've invented a way to send letters that's SLOWER than the royal mail? (PAUSE) Are you insane?

HECTOR:
Yes, but you're missing the point. It's not just letters, you can use it for anything. (PAUSE)) Let's just say you wanted some information - you write your question down..

HECTOR PICKS UP ANOTHER NOTE AND SHOWS IT TO SAUL

SAUL: (READING)
Is my penis too small

HECTOR:
Then you stick it in the ball..

HECTOR POKES THE NOTE INTO THE TENNIS BALL

HECTOR:
Drop it into the server..

HECTOR DROPS THE BALL INTO THE CANNON

HECTOR:
Then press send

HECTOR PULLS THE CORD AND THE BALL IS SHOT INTO THE DISTANCE

THE TWO MEN WATCH THE BALL DISAPPEAR

SAUL SIGHS

SAUL:
Listen, if you're going through some kind of mental breakdown, wouldn't you be better talking to somebody who likes you?

HECTOR GESTURES FOR SAUL TO WAIT

SAUL SHAKES HIS HEAD AND LOOKS TO THE HORIZON

SAUL'S EYES WIDEN WITH SURPRISE AS A RED BALL FLIES INTO VIEW, BOUNCES OFF THE TABLE AND COMES TO A STOP AT HECTOR'S FEET

SUDDENLY, A MIDGET LEAPS UP FROM BEHIND THE TABLE WEARING AN ENVELOPE COSTUME

MIDGET:
You've got mail!

THE MIDGET HIDES AGAIN

SAUL LOOKS AROUND, A LITTLE BEMUSED

SAUL:
What was that?

HECTOR: (EXCITEDLY)
My reply!

HECTOR PICKS UP THE BALL

SAUL:
What does it say?

SMILING WIDELY, HECTOR PULLS OUT THE NOTE

HECTORS SMILE FADES

SAUL: (SMILING)
It says yes doesn't it?

HECTOR SCREWS UP THE NOTE AND TOSSES IT

HECTOR:
That's not important. The important thing is.. it works - it REALLY works!

SAUL:
I still don't get it - I mean, what's the..

HECTOR GASPS WITH A SUDDEN REALISATION AND QUICKLY REACHES FOR THE TENNIS RACKETS.

SAUL:
What? What's wrong?

IN A PANIC, HECTOR THRUSTS A RACKET INTO SAULS HANDS

HECTOR:
Here!

SAUL:
What's this for?

HECTOR:
It's a pop up blocker! Quick - activate it!

HECTOR COVERS HIS FACE WITH THE RACKET, AND COVERS HIS CROTCH WITH HIS FREE HAND

SAUL:
A what?

SUDDENLY A BARRAGE OF TENNIS BALLS BEGIN HITTING THE TWO MEN AT HIGH VELOCITY

SAUL YELPS WITH EACH IMPACT AND TRIES TO DANCE OUT OF THE WAY BUT IS SOON BEATEN TO THE FLOOR

THE BARRAGE ENDS.

HECTOR LOOKS DOWN AT SAUL AND SHAKES HIS HEAD WITH DISAPPOINTMENT.

HECTOR:
Noob.

FADE OUT