Wednesday 21 February 2007

Telesales

INT. TELESALES OFFICE

THE CAMERA PANS ALONG THE LONG ROW OF CUBICLES. IN EACH ONE SITS A TIRED AND UNKEMPT SALESMAN/WOMAN TRYING WITHOUT SUCCESS TO SELL THEIR PRODUCT OVER THE PHONE. EACH ONE SIGHING WITH GREAT SADNESS WHEN THEIR POTENTIAL CUSTOMER HANGS UP.

SALES OP#1: (INTO PHONE)
Hello, I was wondering if I could have a couple of seconds of your time to talk about… (CLICK)

SALES OP#2: (INTO PHONE)
Yes, well, I’m very sorry to have disturbed you sir, but I’m sure once you hear the wonderful bargain we have to offer… (CLICK)

SALES OP#3: (INTO PHONE)
No sir, my mother never did that with a chicken, but I’m sure she would have if she’d heard about our wonderful… (CLICK)

THE CAMERA CONTINUES PAST SEVERAL MORE THEN STOPS AT TERRANCE’S CUBICLE.

TERRANCE IS HOLDING THE PHONE WITH TREMBLING HANDS, HIS EYES WIDE WITH EXCITEMENT.

TERRANCE: (INTO PHONE)
Yes sir. Yes sir and… thank you. No, really – thank you. Yes. Goodbye.

TERRANCE PUTS THE PHONE DOWN AND STARES AT IT IN DISBELIEF.

TERRANCE: (TO SELF)
I sold one.

TERRANCE LOOKS AROUND IN DISBELIEF.

TERRANCE:
I sold one!

A SALES-OP POPS HIS HEAD OVER THE CUBICAL WALL.

SALES OP# 4:
What?!

TERRANCE:
I sold one! I actually sold one!

A NUMBER OF OTHER SALES-OPS STAND UP TO SEE WHAT THE FUSS IS ABOUT.

SALES OP#5:
What’s going on?

SALES OP#4:
He sold one!

SALES OP#6:
Who sold one?!

SALES OP#5:
Terry!

THE SALES-OPS ALL GET UP TO CONGRATULATE TERRY, THEY PAT HIM ON THE BACK AND SHAKE HIS HAND, ASKING HOW IT FEELS AND HOW HE MANAGED IT ETC.

THE BOSS POPS HIS HEAD OUT OF HIS OFFICE.

BOSS:
What’s going on?

SALES OP#2:
Terry sold one!

THE BOSS’S JAW DROPS OPEN AND A TEAR FORMS IN HIS EYE.

AFTER A MOMENT, THE BOSS STRIDES OVER TO TERRY AND THROWS HIS ARMS AROUND HIM.

THE SALES-OPS CHEER, THEN LIFT TERRY ONTO THEIR SHOULDERS AND BEGIN CARRYING HIM FROM THE ROOM.

CUT TO:

EXT. STREET.

THE STREETS ARE LINED WITH CHEERING PEOPLE AND OTHERS ARE THROWING TICKER-TAPE FROM THE WINDOWS AS THE SALES-OPS CARRY TERRY DOWN THE STREET.

CUT TO:

INT. AWARD CEREMONY.

HOST:
And the award goes to… Terrance Biggs!

THE AUDIENCE CHEER AS TERRY TAKES TO THE STAGE AND ACCEPTS HIS AWARD.

CUT TO:

EXT. 10 DOWNING STREET.

TERRY IS SHAKING THE HAND OF THE P.M. AND POSING FOR PHOTOGRAPHS.

CUT TO:

INT. ST. PAUL’S CATHEDRAL.

TERRY IS KNEELING BEFORE THE QUEEN BEING KNIGHTED.

FADE TO BLACK.


CUT TO:


EXT. VATICAN BALCONY



TERRY AND THE POPE ARE WAVING TO THE CROWDS.

CUT TO:

INT. TELESALES OFFICE

TERRY IS WAKING FROM HIS DAYDREAM.

WITH A HEAVY SIGH HE PUTS THE TELEPHONE TO HIS EAR AND PRESSES A BUTTON.

TERRY: (INTO PHONE)

Hello there, I was hoping you’d have the time to discuss a wonderful opportunity that would…(CLICK)

TERRY SIGHS AND PRESSES THE BUTTON AGAIN.

TERRY: (INTO PHONE)

Hello there, I was hoping you’d have the time…

FADE OUT.

END.

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