INT. WINE BAR
DAMIEN IS STANDING AT THE BAR LOOKING HANDSOME.
LUCY APPROACHES AND INTRODUCES HERSELF.
Hi, I'm Lucy.
DAMIEN SHAKES HER HAND.
My friends and I have a little bet. We were wondering what you do for a living. Molly and Cynthia think you're a male model, but I'm sure I've seen you on TV. Are you an actor?
No. I actually work as a singing telegram.
Really! How wonderful!
LUCY MOVES IN A LITTLE CLOSER.
And if you were to sing to me...
SHE GENTLY TOUCHES HIS HAND.
...what would you sing?
DAMIEN STEPS BACK FROM THE BAR, PULLS A MINIATURE HARMONICA FROM HIS POCKET AND BLOWS INTO IT TO ESTABLISH A TONE.
If an acne ridden monkey,
were hit in the face with a shoe,
and a handful of shite was smeared on it's face,
I'd still rather kiss it than you.
DAMIEN STICKS TWO FINGERS UP AT LUCY AND BLOWS A RASPBERRY.
LUCY JAW DROPS.