Monday 22 January 2007

The Pick-me up

INT. WINE BAR

DAMIEN IS STANDING AT THE BAR LOOKING HANDSOME.

LUCY APPROACHES AND INTRODUCES HERSELF.

LUCY:
Hi, I'm Lucy.

DAMIEN SHAKES HER HAND.

DAMIEN:
I'm Damien.

LUCY:
My friends and I have a little bet. We were wondering what you do for a living. Molly and Cynthia think you're a male model, but I'm sure I've seen you on TV. Are you an actor?

DAMIEN:
No. I actually work as a singing telegram.

LUCY:
Really! How wonderful!

LUCY MOVES IN A LITTLE CLOSER.

LUCY:
And if you were to sing to me...

SHE GENTLY TOUCHES HIS HAND.

LUCY:
...what would you sing?

DAMIEN STEPS BACK FROM THE BAR, PULLS A MINIATURE HARMONICA FROM HIS POCKET AND BLOWS INTO IT TO ESTABLISH A TONE.

DAMIEN: (SINGING)
If an acne ridden monkey,
were hit in the face with a shoe,
and a handful of shite was smeared on it's face,
I'd still rather kiss it than you.

DAMIEN STICKS TWO FINGERS UP AT LUCY AND BLOWS A RASPBERRY.

LUCY JAW DROPS.

FADE OUT.

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