Good Boy

INT. GIANT ALIEN LIVING ROOM.

THE ENOURMOUS ROOM IS NOT UNLIKE THE AVERAGE LIVING ROOM, BUT WITH A HINT OF THE GALACTIC ABOUT IT, AND ON A LARGER SCALE.

A GIANT ALIEN NAMED HORACE IS SAT ON A GIANT CHAIR READING A GIANT COPY OF THE ALIEN SUNDAY SPORT.

THERE ARE TWO GIANT CUPS OF COFFEE ON THE GIANT COFFEE TABLE.

FROM ANOTHER ROOM, A GIANT DOOR CAN BE HEARD SLAMMING.

HORACE: (SHOUTING)
Did he do the toilet?!

EDNA: (O.O.V.)
No he bloody didn't!

EDNA, A GIANT ALIEN OF THE FEMALE VARIETY, ENTERS CARRYING AN EMPTY DOG LEAD IN HER HAND.

EDNA:
Twenty minutes sniffing bums, lamp-posts and trees without a single poop or pee! I just don't think he's trainable!

EDNA REMOVES HER COAT.

HORACE:
I'll take him out again later - you go and hang your coat up and then come and take the weight off your feet. I've made us a bru.

EDNA:
Cheers love.

EDNA EXITS AGAIN TO HANG UP HER COAT.

EDNA: (O.O.V.)
We might be better just taking him back to the shop and getting a better one.

HORACE:
Give him a couple more days - let him settle into his new surroundings.

EDNA: (O.O.V.)
Yeah. I suppose it can't be easy getting used to... Oh for god's sake! I don't believe this!

HORACE:
What is it?

EDNA ENTERS ANGRILY.

EDNA:
He's done it again!

HORACE:
You're joking!

EDNA EXITS AGAIN.

HORACE ANGRILY STANDS AND ROLLS UP HIS NEWSPAPER.

EDNA ENTERS ONCE MORE DRAGGING IN A NAKED, FULLY GROWN MAN BY THE EAR.

THE MAN IS COVERING HIS MODESTY WITH HIS HANDS.

HORACE HITS HIS OPEN PALM WITH THE PAPER.

HORACE: (TO MAN)
What have I told you about going indoors?

MAN: (ANGRILY)
And what have I told you?! (PAUSE) You give me back my y-fronts and I'll stop crapping in your shoes!

FADE OUT.