Shush!

I wrote this a couple of years ago and sent it of to the BBC writer's room. Understandably it was rejected, it's a little crude but I still can't help but like it.


Incedentally, this is not to be confused with the planned BBC3 sitcom of the same name.



SHUSH!

Pilot Episode:

‘Nothing like spectacular.’

© Scott H Mitchell 2005


SCENE 1: INT. LIBRARY

THE LIBRARY IS WITHOUT PATRONS.

BEHIND THE LIBRARIANS COUNTER THERE IS AN OPEN DOOR LEADING TO AN OFFICE.

TO THE RIGHT OF THE COUNTER ARE TWO DOORS MARKED AS THE LADIES AND GENTS TOILET.

PHYLLIS IS STANDING BEHIND THE COUNTER LOOKING GLUM.

PHYLLIS (AROUND 30 YEARS OLD) IS DRESSED CONSERVATIVELY, IN A LONG SKIRT AND JUMPER. SHE IS WEARING STYLISH GLASSES.

DOREEN ENTERS FROM THE OFFICE WITH THREE COFFEES.

DOREEN (APPROXIMATELY 45 YEARS OLD) IS DRESSED IN A SHORT BLACK SKIRT, HER BLACK BRA IS CLEARLY VISIBLE UNDER HER WHITE BLOUSE.

SHE PLACES THE COFFEES ON THE COUNTER, SLIDES ONE IN FRONT OF PHYLIS AND FROWNS.

DOREEN:
Who’s farted in your face?

PHYLLIS:
Huh?

DOREEN:
You look like you’ve just eaten a menopause – what’s wrong with you?

PHYLLIS:
I’m bored!

DOREEN:
Read a book.

PHYLLIS:
(SIGH) I’m sick of reading books. I’m sick of staring out into an empty room. I want something exciting to happen, something… something spectacular.

SUDDENLY EDNA JUMPS OUT FROM BEHIND A BOOKSHELF WITH HER HANDS ON HER HIPS.

EDNA (AROUND 50 YEARS OLD) IS DRESSED IN A LONG BLUE SKIRT AND A BRIGHTLY COLOURED BLOUSE, SHE IS OVERWEIGHT, HAS THICK HORN RIMMED GLASSES, TOO MUCH MAKE-UP AND A HUNCH-BACK.

SHE HAS AN OPEN BOOK HANGING FROM HER WAIST-BAND LIKE A SPORRAN.

SHE THRUSTS HER GROIN BACK AND FORTH, MAKING THE BOOKS PAGES FLAP OPEN AND CLOSED.

EDNA:
Read – my – lips! Read – my – lips!

EDNA CRACKS UP LAUGHING.

DOREEN AND PHYLLIS ARE UNMOVED.

DOREEN AND PHYLLIS: (IN UNISON)
Your coffee’s ready.

EDNA:
Oh, right. Won’t be a second, just got to go and wet my hair.

REMOVING THE BOOK, EDNA EXITS INTO THE WOMENS TOILET.

DOREEN AND EDNA RETURN TO THEIR CONVERSATION.

DOREEN:
You don’t see a lot of spectacular in Midgeport. There’s a lot of ‘seen it before’ and a little bit of ‘mildly interesting’, but not very much spectacular.

PHYLLIS:
I don’t want very much, just enough to… to let me know I’m still alive. To show me that there’s something out there. Just a moment, a distraction, something to wake me up again. I don’t care what it is, just as long as it’s… spectacular.

DOREEN STUDIES PHYLLIS FOR A MOMENT.

DOREEN:
Have you run the batteries down on your rabbit again?

PHYLLIS:
No! (PAUSE) I just… jammed the mechanism a bit.

CUT TO:



SCENE 2: INT. TOILET CUBICLE.

EDNA IS SAT ON THE TOILET PEEING. (HER SKIRT COVERING HER MODESTY).

THE TOILET ROLL HOLDER IS EMPTY, BUT EDNA HASN’T NOTICED.

SHE WIGGLES HER HIPS TO SHAKE OFF THE LAST DROPS OF PEE AND BEGINS TO STAND.

SHE HESITATES, SHRUGS HER SHOULDERS AND SITS DOWN AGAIN.

EDNA:
In for a penny, in for a pound.

WITH A DEEP BREATH EDNA’S FACE INTENSIFIES.

SHE BEGINS TO EMPTY HER BOWELS NOISILY.

CUT TO:



SCENE 3: INT.LIBRARY

DOREEN AND PHYLLIS ARE STILL TALKING OVER COFFEE.

DOREEN:
You need a hump.

PHYLLIS:
What – like Edna’s?

DOREEN:
No. You need a… a… (PAUSE) You need to shove a squeaky red nose into your clown’s pocket.

PHYLLIS:
(LAUGHING) What?!

DOREEN:
You’re short of a ride on Mr Whippy’s pointy cone of seduction.

PHYLLIS:
Oh come on! Who calls it that?

DOREEN:
You’re in need of a smear-test from doctor any-guy?

PHYLLIS:
That’s it – you’re banned from the internet.

CUT TO:




SCENE 4: INT. TOILET CUBICLE.

EDNA IS SAT ON THE TOILET, HER FACE AWASH WITH RELIEF.

SHE REACHES OUT TO THE EMPTY TOILET ROLL HOLDER AND FREEZES.

HER EYES WIDEN WITH TERROR.

CUT TO:




SCENE 5: INT. LIBRARY

DOREEN AND PHYLLIS ARE STILL CONVERSING.

DOREEN:
Harry One-leg.

PHYLLIS:
He’s married!

DOREEN:
Tommy the hat.

PHYLLIS:
You’re joking aren’t you? He’s got a face like a dropped sherry-trifle!

DOREEN:
He’s got his own business.

PHYLLIS:
He’s got an arse for a head.

DOREEN:
Yeah, he’s a minger. (PAUSE – THEN SMILING) How about Mr Morris?

PHYLLIS:
Mmm, Mr Morris, now there’s a finger waiting to be fudged.

DOREEN:
(LAUGHING) A what?

PHYLLIS:
He’s married though.

DOREEN:
They’re divorced!

PHYLLIS:
He still lives with her.

DOREEN:
Look, just because he’s got a cat at home it doesn’t mean he’s not ready to go out and stroke another woman’s pussy.


PHYLLIS: (INTERRUPTING)
Oh now that’s just crude!

DOREEN:
That’s crude?! A second ago you were talking fudge-fingers!

CUT TO:



SCENE 6: INT. TOILET CUBICLE.

EDNA LOOKS TO BE IN A PANIC.

EDNA: (SHOUTING)
He-ee-eee-eee-eee-eee-eelp!

THE SHOUT IS PUNCTUATED BY AN ABRUPT FART.

CUT TO:




SCENE 7: INT. LIBRARY

DOREEN AND PHYLIS ARE STILL DEEP IN CONVERSATION.

DOREEN:
She sleeps in a separate part of the house, you’d hardly even see her.

PHYLLIS:
I am not dating a man who lives with his ex-wife – it’s… creepy!

DOREEN:
No more creepy than licking one-eyed Norman’s empty socket!

PHYLLIS:
I was drunk! And this is different.

DOREEN:
What’s the worst that can happen?

PHYLLIS:
Have you met his wife?!

DOREEN:
Ex wife.

PHYLLIS:
She’s built like a butcher! She could crack my skull with her arse-cheeks!

DOREEN:
She’s not that tough.

PHYLLIS:
Not that tough!? She’s a he-beast! She doesn’t lift weights – she eats them!

DOREEN:
You could take her.

PHYLLIS:
I could take her to the zoo, I could take her to Ripley’s believe it or not, but there’s no way I’m taking her man off her – she might get… angry.


DOREEN:
She’s not the hulk you know.

PHYLLIS:
No – she’s the woman who bitch-slaps the Hulk for looking at her shoes!

DOREEN:
Wait ‘til she goes out, then do him.

PHYLLIS:
She never goes out – she’s a hermit. (PAUSE) She’s Hermit Munster!

CUT TO:




SCENE 8: INT. TOILET

EDNA IS SAT ON THE TOILET FROWNING.

SHE DRUMS HER FINGERS ON HER CHIN, TRYING TO THINK OF A SOLUTION.

SHE STOPS, PAUSES, THEN LIFTS HER FINGERS TO HER NOSE.

SHE SNIFFS THEM AND RECOILS FROM THE SMELL.

CUT TO:




SCENE 9: INT. LIBRARY.

PHYLLIS:
Anyway, it doesn’t have to be a man. It just has to be something…

DOREEN:
Spectacular – I get it.

PHYLLIS:
Yeah, like… like a… like… (SIGH) alright, I need a man, what am I going to do?

DOREEN:
Tuck into Mr Morris!

PHYLLIS:
No! Unless his man of a wife either dies, explodes, disappears into thin air or goes back to Mordor, Mr Morris is off limits. It’ll have to be someone else.

BOTH WOMEN SIP THEIR COFFEE AND CONSIDER THE PROBLEM.

DOREEN:
Barry with the hair lip?

PHYLLIS:
Too young.

DOREEN:
Buck-tooth Kenny.

PHYLLIS:
Too stupid.

DOREEN:
Big fat Ronny.

PHYLLIS:
(Frowns) The clue’s in the title.

DOREEN:
Alright then, what about cross-eyed Tarquin?

PHYLLIS THROWS HER HANDS UP IN EXASPERATION.

PHYLLIS:
What is wrong with this town?! All the men are boot-faced with silly nicknames and bits missing!

DOREEN:
Mr Morris hasn’t got a boot face, and I’m sure he’d let you check to see if all his bits are intact.

PHYLLIS:
Yeah, and he doesn’t have a nickname either does he – what’s all that about? Everybody in this town has a nickname. Even his wife has a nickname, Don’t-hit-me Deirdre they call her. Why hasn’t he got one?

DOREEN:
I don’t have a nickname.

PHYLLIS:
Yes you do. All three of us do.

DOREEN:
Do we? What are they?

PHYLLIS:
Well, you’re Desperate Doreen…

DOREEN:
Desperate Doreen!

PHYLLIS:
I’m Phyllis the book-worm…

DOREEN:
How am I desperate?!

PHYLLIS:
And Edna’s called Ten-pin.

DOREEN:
I’m not even close to being… (FROWNS) Ten pin? Why Ten-pin?


PHYLLIS:
I don’t know, it’s what her second husband used to call her, I think it has something to do with the way you pick a bowling bowl up (PHYLLIS MIMES PICKING A BOWLING BOWL UP), I don’t really get it myself.

DOREEN AND PHYLLIS PONDER THIS A MOMENT.

PHYLLIS:
Where is Edna?

THEY LOOK TOWARDS THE TOILET.

DOREEN:
She’s probably bombing China, Derek took her for a curry last night.

PHYLLIS:
Oh dear, she’ll be in there all day.

CUT TO:




SCENE 10: INT. TOILET CUBICLE.

EDNA IS TRYING TO TEAR OFF A PIECE OF CLOTH FROM THE BOTTOM OF HER DRESS.

AFTER MUCH STRAINING SHE GIVES UP.

EDNA:
I’m going to have to start wearing underwear again.

SHE DESPERATELY LOOKS AROUND FOR SOMETHING ELSE TO USE AS TOILET PAPER.

EDNA:
A pair of knickers or a sock would come in real handy right now.

SHE LOOKS AT THE TOILET ROLL HOLDER.

ON THE CARDBOARD TUBE THERE ARE A COUPLE OF SMALL SCRAPS OF TOILET PAPER REMAINING.

WITH GREAT CARE SHE BEGINS TO PICK OFF THE SCRAPS OF PAPER.

CUT TO:




SCENE 11: INT. LIBRARY

DOREEN AND PHYLLIS ARE STILL PRESENT.

DOREEN:
Why Desperate Doreen? Why not Dippy or Deadly? Anything but desperate – that’s just demeaning.

PHYLLIS:
I think it’s because you used to be an Adam Ant fan, remember? You had a badge and everything.

DOREEN:
What’s that got to do with being desperate?

PHYLLIS:
Well he was the dandy highwayman wasn’t he?

DOREEN:
And?

PHYLLIS:
Dandy – the comic?

DOREEN:
Are you on pills?

PHYLLIS:
(SIGH) Desperate Dan, Desperate Doreen – Adam Ant fan!

DOREEN STUDIES PHYLLIS’S FACE.

DOREEN:
You just made that up didn’t you.

PHYLLIS:
Yeah. They call you Desperate ‘cause you’ll shag anything with three legs.

DOREEN:
Well that’s not desperate is it? You’re only desperate when you can’t get a jump!

PHYLLIS:
Like me you mean?

DOREEN:
Exactly!

PHYLLIS:
Thanks!

DOREEN:
Don’t mention it.

CUT TO:



SCENE 12: INT. TOILET CUBICLE.

EDNA IS SAT ON THE TOILET WITH SEVERAL SMALL SCRAPS OF TOILET PAPER IN HER LAP – ALL BUT ONE STUCK TOGETHER.

WITH A GRIMACE SHE WETS HER FINGER AND STICKS THE LAST PIECE TO THE OTHERS.

SHE HOLDS UP THE PIECES TO THE LIGHT.

COMBINED THEY ARE STILL NO BIGGER THAN A COASTER.

FRUSTRATED, SHE CRUMPLES UP THE PIECES AND THROWS THEM TO THE FLOOR.

EDNA: (SHOUTING)

He-ee-eee-eee-eee-eelp!

THIS TIME THE SHOUT IS PUNCTUATED WITH TWO ABRUPT FARTS AND A HEAVY SIGH.

CUT TO:




SCENE 13: INT. LIBRARY

DOREEN:
Why not try speed dating?

PHYLLIS:
In this town? You couldn’t go quick enough! The good looking men are all married and the ugly ones are, well… ugly.
You don’t go on blind dates in Midgeport, you go on wish you were blind dates! I tell you it’s hopeless – I’ve been looking for three years now and I still haven’t had a sniff.

DOREEN LOOKS SHOCKED.

DOREEN:
Three years?!

PHYLLIS:
Alright, don’t ham it up.

DOREEN:
Three years!?!

PHYLLIS:
Yes – three years, it’s not that long.

DOREEN:
It’s long enough for your bits to heal up! You’re gonna need a crowbar soon!

PHYLLIS:
We can’t all be easy!

DOREEN:
Easy?

PHILLIS:
(SINGING) Easy like Desperate Do-reen.

DOREEN:
I’m not easy, I’m just… not difficult.

PHYLLIS:
Not difficult? Corpses put up more resistance than you – you’re worse than a humping dog!

DOREEN:
(LAUGHING) I do get around a bit don’t I.

PHYLLIS:
You should have a toll-booth set up outside your bedroom.

DOREEN:
Who makes it to the bedroom?

CUT TO:



SCENE 14: INT TOILET CUBICLE.

EDNA IS LEANING FORWARD, USING HER HAND TO WAFT COLD AIR ONTO HER BUTTOCKS.

AFTER A MOMENT SHE STOPS, THEN VERY CAREFULLY TRIES TO STAND.

BARELY AN INCH FROM THE SEAT SHE GRIMACES AND SITS BACK DOWN.

EDNA:
(MIMICKING) ‘Try a madras – you’ll love it!’… bloody moron. If I’ve got anything left I’m gonna squeeze it out into his pillow case, see how he likes that! (LONG PAUSE - THEN MIMICKING) ‘It’s very spicy isn’t it?’

CUT TO:



SCENE 15: INT. LIBRARY.

DOREEN:
I saw Mrs Beaten on the way in this morning.

PHYLLIS:
Should-be Beaten?

DOREEN:
No, her mother – Bingo Lilly.

PHYLLIS:
Oh yeah, how’s her new hip?

DOREEN:
All over the place, she was coming at me like a drunken ninja.

PHYLLIS:
Did she not have her walking frame with her?

DOREEN:
No, she lost it at cards.

PHYLLIS:
Again?

DOREEN:
Yeah, she lost her teeth as well, her old man’s going nuts about it.

PHYLLIS:
He’s no room to talk, he’s as bad as her for gambling.

DOREEN:
It’s not that, they only had the one set of teeth between them, and tonight’s pork-chop night.

PHYLLIS:
Oh dear, he won’t be happy about that, he likes his pork-chops does peg-leg.


DOREEN:
That’s why she was going to the shops this morning, she’s looking for a tin of pork-chop soup.

PHILLIS:
Do they do pork chop soup?

DOREEN SHRUGS HER SHOULDERS.

CUT TO:



SCENE 16: INT. TOILET CUBICLE.

EDNA IS TRYING TO RIP THE SLEEVE OFF HER BLOUSE.

SHE PULLS WITH ALL HER MIGHT AND THE SLEEVE RIPS OFF, SLIPS FROM HER FINGERS AND FLIES OUT UNDER THE CUBICLE DOOR.

A LOOK OF DISBELIEF TURNS QUICKLY TO DETERMINATION AS SHE IMMEDIATELY TRIES TO RIP OFF THE OTHER SLEEVE.

CUT TO:




SCENE 17: INT. LIBRARY.

PHYLLIS:
Have you seen Death-bed Jimmy this week?

DOREEN:
He was down at the hospital on Wednesday visiting Wafer Bill.

PHYLLIS:
I thought Bill was getting better?

DOREEN:
Apparently not, he died on Thursday.

PHYLLIS:
Oh, that’s terrible.

DOREEN NODS.

PHYLLIS:
You know, when I went in to get my farmers popped I had nightmares about Death-bed Jimmy coming to visit me.

DOREEN:
I know what you mean, he’s like the angel of death in a tank-top. I was having a hot flush one day and he knocked on the kitchen window – I nearly crapped myself!

PHYLLIS:
What did he want?

DOREEN:
He just came round to tell me who died that week, still scared the Maltesers out of me though!

PHYLLIS:
It’s a bit odd when you think about it.

DOREEN:
What?

PHYLLIS:
Well, if everybody he visits in hospital dies, why don’t the hospital just stop him from visiting people?


DOREEN:
You’re kidding! They love him down there, he clears a bed a week – two in winter! They’ve even started putting his name on the death certificate.

PHYLLIS:
Yeah, right.

DOREEN:
Honestly! Cause of death – friend of Jimmy Collins.

PHYLLIS:
(LAUGHING) Famous last words, (FEIGNING FEAR) those grapes aren’t for me are they Jimmy?

BOTH WOMEN LAUGH.

CUT TO:



SCENE 18: INT. WOMENS TOILET/ OUTSIDE THE CLOSED CUBICLE DOOR.

THERE IS A SLEEVE ON THE FLOOR, SLIGHTLY AWAY FROM THE CLOSED DOOR.

THERE IS THE MUFFLED SOUND OF STRUGGLING.

WITH A TEARING SOUND, A SECOND SLEEVE FLIES OUT FROM UNDER THE CUBICLE DOOR, SLIDING TO A STOP BESIDE THE OTHER.

AFTER A PREGNANT PAUSE, THE CUBICLE SUDDENLY BEGINS SHAKING AS EDNA BANGS AND SCREAMS AGAINST IT’S WALLS AND DOOR,

CUT TO:




SCENE 19: INT LIBRARY.

DOREEN IS ADMIRING THE SHAPE OF HER GROIN.

PHYLLIS IS GAZING OFF INTO THE DISTANCE.

DOREEN:
I’m thinking of having a Brazilian.

PHYLLIS:
I prefer a Chinese.

DOREEN: (FROWNING)
What’s a Chinese?

PHYLLIS:
You’ve never had one?

DOREEN:
(SURPRISED) No, I’m obviously not as cosmopolitan as you! What’s it like?

PHYLLIS:
It’s nice, sweet. A few too many noodles though, and not enough mushrooms.

DOREEN:
(SIGH) You’re talking about food again aren’t you?

PHYLLIS:
You started it!

DOREEN:
A Brazilian isn’t a take-away dish! – It’s a… a hairstyle.

PHYLLIS:
Oh right. (PAUSE) I thought you liked your hair?

DOREEN:
Pubic hair.


PHYLLIS:
What – you’re getting a perm?

CUT TO:




SCENE 20: INT. TOILET CUBICLE

EDNA IS TOTALLY DISHEVELLED. HER SLEEVES ARE MISSING, HER GLASSES ARE OFF, HER HAIR IS A MESS AND SHE IS OUT OF BREATH.

A DAWNING REALISATION BEGINS TO CROSS HER FACE.

SLOWLY SHE LEANS TO ONE SIDE AND LOOKS BEHIND HER.

THERE IS A FRESH ROLL OF TOILET ROLL RESTING ON THE CISTERN.

SHE PUTS HER HEAD IN HER HANDS AND BEGINS TO SOB.

CUT TO:



SCENE 21: INT. LIBRARY

DOREEN AND PHYLLIS ARE STILL BEHIND THE COUNTER.

PHYLLIS:
There’s a sing-a-long tonight at the Cock-eyed pheasant if you fancy it?

DOREEN SLOWLY SHAKES HER HEAD WITH DISAPPOINTMENT.

DOREEN:
You know, you’re never gonna get your curtains wet if you keep hanging round with those sheep-sharers.

PHYLLIS:
They’re folk singers – they’re not Welsh! They’re the closest thing we get to rock and roll around these parts; I thought they’d be right up your alley!

DOREEN:
Nothing that’s been dipped in a sheep is going anywhere near my alley!

PHYLLIS:
They don’t sleep with sheep!

DOREEN:
Yeah right, they’re all woolly jumpers and poems – they’ve got to be sheep-shaggers!

PHYLLIS:
They’re just sensitive.

DOREEN:
Yeah, sensitive about anybody mentioning sheep.

PHYLLIS:
Are you coming or what?

DOREEN:
Yeah, alright. (PAUSE) Do you think if I put my fur-coat on they’d get confused?

WITH A LOUD BANG THE TOILET DOOR BURST OPEN.

EDNA STAGGERS IN LOOKING A MESS.

HER MASCARA HAS RUN ALL THE WAY DOWN HER CHEEKS, HER SLEEVES ARE MISSING AND HER HAIR IS STICKING UP IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A LONG STRIP OF TOILET PAPER TRAILS OUT FROM UNDER HER SKIRT.

SHE HAS AN EMPTY CARDBOARD TOILET ROLL TUBE IN HER HAND.

DOREEN AND PHYLLIS LOOK AT HER IN STUNNED DISBELIEF.

DOREEN AND PHYLLIS: (IN UNISON)
Your coffee’s gone cold. Your coffee’s gone cold.

EDNA BEGINS WALKING AROUND THE COUNTER.

EDNA:
I’ll put it in the microwave.

DOREEN AND PHYLLIS NOTICE THE TOILET PAPER TRAILING FROM UNDER HER SKIRT AND GRIMACE.

BOTH WOMEN ARE NOW TRYING DESPERATELY TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE.

EDNA DROPS THE CARDBOARD TUBE ON THE COUNTER.

EDNA:
I changed the toilet roll in the ladies.


PHYLLIS:
Yes… I, uh… I thought that.

THEY CONTINUE TO WATCH AS EDNA WALKS AROUND THE COUNTER, PICKS UP HER COFFEE AND HEADS INTO THE OFFICE.

DOREEN AND PHYLLIS WATCH THE TRAILING TOILET PAPER FOLLOW HER OUT OF VIEW.

DOREEN:
Edna?

EDNA: (O.O.V.)
Yes?

DOREEN:
Are you still having that boycott on underwear?

PHYLLIS GRABS DOREENS ARM AND, STIFLING HER LAUGHTER, MOUTHS THE WORD ‘DON’T’.

EDNA POPS HER HEAD AROUND THE DOOR FROWNING.

DOREEN AND PHYLLIS QUICKLY TRY TO APPEAR NONCHALANT.

EDNA:
Yes, why?

DOREEN:
No reason really, just thinking about what to get you for your birthday.

EDNA THINKS FOR A MOMENT.


EDNA:
A bidet would be nice.

SHE DISAPPEARS BACK INTO THE OFFICE.

DOREEN AND PHYLLIS TRY THEIR BEST NOT TO ROAR WITH LAUGHTER.

THE MICROWAVE IN THE OFFICE ‘PINGS’.


PHYLLIS: (SHOUTING TO EDNA)
Are you coming down to the Cock-eyed Pheasant tonight Edna?

EDNA RETURNS FROM THE OFFICE WITH THE COFFEE IN ONE HAND AND THE STRIP OF TOILET PAPER IN THE OTHER.

SHE TRIES TO DROP THE TOILET PAPER INTO THE BIN, BUT IT’S STUCK TO HER HAND AND TAKES MORE THAN A COUPLE OF SHAKES TO RELEASE.

DOREEN AND PHYLLIS WATCH WITH RENEWED AMAZEMENT.

EDNA STANDS BESIDE THEM AT THE COUNTER.

EDNA:
Cock-eyed Pheasant? It’s full of sheep-shaggers isn’t it?

EDNA SIPS HER COFFEE.

DOREEN TURNS TO PHYLLIS.

DOREEN:
You know for some people, spectacular’s just a way of life.

PHYLLIS NODS, EYES STILL FIXED ON EDNA.

FADE OUT.


END OF EPISODE.