Ding Dong Merrily on high

This script was written to follow the brief of Christmas 2007. On the morning I wrote this the TV news reports were full of references to the discovery that unruly British teens were unaffected by the implimentation of ASBO's (anti social behaviour orders), to the point where aquiring one had become a badge of honour amongst the mischievious.

EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE/FRONT DOOR/NIGHT.

TWO TEENAGERS (DEBBIE AND TIM) DRESSED IN HOODIES STEP UP TO THE DOOR AND RING THE BELL.

AFTER A MOMENT GEORGE OPENS THE DOOR TO THEM.

GEORGE:
Yes?

BOTH TEENAGERS: (APATHETICALLY)
Jingle bells. Jingle bells.

THE TWO TEENAGERS THRUST OUT THEIR HANDS FOR A REWARD.

GEORGE REGARDS THEM FOR A MOMENT.

GEORGE:
Is that it?

THE TEENAGERS RE-EMPHASISE THEIR HAND GESTURES.

GEORGE: (CONTINUED)
You're not likely to pull at peoples heart-strings with that rendition, are you?

THE TWO TEENAGERS LOOK AT EACH OTHER, FROWN, THEN THRUST THEIR HANDS FORWARD MORE FORCEFULLY.

GEORGE: (CONTINUED)
I mean, it's hardly stirring stuff is it?

THE TWO TEENAGERS LOOK AT EACH OTHER AGAIN AND SIGH IMPATIENTLY.

DEBBIE: (TO GEORGE)
Look - we sang you a Christmas carol, now give us some money before the off-licence closes.

GEORGE:
Money? Money for what?! You didn't even sing! You mumbled! It was a Christmas mumble!

DEBBIE:
Just give us the money Grandma, or we'll be setting fire to your socks.

GEORGE:
I beg your pardon?

TIM: (FORCEFULLY)
Money - now.

GEORGE: (OFFENDED)
Now that's enough. If you don't clear off I'm calling the police.

DEBBIE: (ASIDE TO TIM)
Have we to smash his windows?

TIM SHRUGS.

GEORGE: (ANGRILY)
Hey!! Do you want to get an ASBO? Because that's the way you're headed!

TIM AND DEBBIE LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE EXCITEDLY.

TIM TURNS TO FACE THE STREET AND CALLS OUT.

TIM: (SHOUTING)
Hey guys! This bloke's giving out ASBO's!

SUDDENLY, DOZENS OF TEENAGERS RUSH TO GEORGE'S DOOR FROM ALL DIRECTIONS TO CONGREGATE WITH DEBBIE AND TIM.

GEORGE LOOKS A LITTLE NERVOUS.

DOZENS OF TEENAGERS: (APATHETICALLY)
Jingle bells. Jingle bells.

THE GATHERED TEENAGERS SUDDENLY THRUST OUT THEIR HANDS AS ONE, EXPECTING A REWARD.

GEORGE WHIMPERS.

FADE OUT.