Not available in the shops

INT. WHITE ROOM

HECTOR IS STANDING IN THE CENTRE OF THE ROOM DRESSED IN A LAB-COAT WITH HIS HANDS BEHIND HIS BACK.

TO HIS LEFT IS A VERY ATTRACTIVE WOMAN, TO HIS RIGHT IS A VERY UGLY WOMAN. THE ATTRACTIVE WOMAN IS SMILING SEDUCTIVELY, THE UGLY WOMAN IS SULKING.

HECTOR: (TO CAMERA)
Are you ugly? Do you have the kind of face that loosens bowels and scares away monkeys?

THE UGLY WOMAN NODS.

HECTOR:
Well, fear not - for help is now at hand with the new and improved Moisty Bapper patented ugly stick.

HECTOR PULLS A CRICKET BAT FROM BEHIND HIS BACK.

HECTOR:
Just one simple application to any person more attractive than you...

HECTOR SLAPS THE ATTRACTIVE WOMAN IN THE FACE WITH THE CRICKET BAT.

HECTOR:
...will soon ensure that YOU...

HECTOR PULLS THE BAT AWAY FROM THE ATTRACTIVE WOMANS FACE TO REVEAL THAT HER FACE HAS BEEN FLATTENED BADLY BY THE BLOW.

HECTOR:
...will be the Belle of the ball.

THE UGLY WOMAN SMILES.

THE NO-LONGER ATTRACTIVE WOMAN FALLS TO THE FLOOR.

A CAPTION APPEARS READING: Not available in the shops.

FADE OUT.