Bus Stop

This is the third script written in a series of three. In the previous two sketches (The Birth of the internet and Taxi), I added to the challenge of the brief by forcing certain devices into play. In this script the overall challenges were to include the tennis ball e-mail and introduce the first passenger in the aforementioned taxi sketch.

EXT. QUIET TOWN CENTRE/BUS STOP.

THE BUS STOP COMPRISES OF A SINGLE SIGN POST AND A WOODEN BENCH, BEHIND WHICH IS A LOW WALL.

DONALD, GIBLET AND JANINE ARE SITTING PATIENTLY AT THE BUS-STOP.

GIBLET IS HOLDING A SMALL TOY CAR AND STUDYING ITS DETAIL. DONALD IS READING A NEWSPAPER. JANINE IS PICKING HER NOSE.

JANINE PULLS HER FINGER FROM HER NOSE, EXAMINES IT AND GRIMACES.

SHE POKES HER FINGER IN DONALDS EAR TO WIPE IT CLEAN.

DONALD JUMPS.

DONALD:
Do you mind?!

JANINE LOOKS AT HER FINGER AGAIN AND SMILES.

JANINE:
Not any more.

DONALD SCOWLS AT JANINE A LITTLE LONGER THEN RETURNS TO HIS PAPER.

A CONGA-LINE OF PEOPLE WEARING PARTY HATS APPROACHES.

CONGA-LINE: (SINGING)
Ta-da-da-da-da-dat-dah. Ta-da-da-da-da-dat-dah. Ta-da-da-dah. Ta-da-da-dah.

THE CONGA-LINE STOPS AT THE BUS-STOP.

JANINE JOINS THE BACK OF THE CONGA-LINE.

THE CONGA-LINE MOVES ON.

CONGA-LINE: (SINGING)
Ta-da-da-da-da-dat-dah. Ta-da-da-da-da-dat-dah. Ta-da-da-dah. Ta-da-da-dah.

MOMENTS AFTER THE CONGA-LINE IS GONE, A RED TENNIS BALL FLIES INTO VIEW, HITS DONALD ON THE SIDE OF THE HEAD AND COMES TO REST AT HIS FEET.

A MIDGET POPS UP FROM BEHIND THE LOW WALL.

MIDGET:
You've got mail!

DONALD AND GIBLET BOTH TURN, BUT THE MIDGET DUCKS BACK DOWN BEHIND THE WALL BEFORE THEY CAN SPOT HIM.

DONALD PUTS DOWN HIS NEWSPAPER, PICKS UP THE BALL AND EXAMINES IT, FINDING A NOTE STICKING OUT FROM A HOLE IN ITS SIDE.

HE TAKES OUT THE NOTE AND LOOKS IT OVER, CLEARLY DISLIKING THE WORDS WRITTEN UPON IT.

DONALD EYES GIBLET SUSPICIOUSLY.

DONALD: (TO GIBLET)
Is your name Giblet Gibbons?

GIBLET:
Yes. Yes it is. Thanks for noticing.

DONALD:
It says here that you have to discuss public transport with the ugly man beside you.

GIBLET:
Really?

DONALD:
That's what it says.

GIBLET:
Let's have a look.

GIBLET PUTS THE TOY CAR DOWN ON THE BENCH, TAKES THE NOTE FROM DONALD AND SCANS IT.

GIBLET:
Huh. So it does.

GIBLET FOLDS THE NOTE AND PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET.

THE TWO MEN SIT IN SILENCE FOR A TIME, DONALD OCCASIONALLY GLANCING MISTRUSTFULLY AT GIBLET.

FINALLY, GIBLET SPEAKS UP.

GIBLET:
I hear they're planning to raise the bus-fares in summer to cope with the...

DONALD LEAPS TO HIS FEET.

DONALD:
I knew it! I bloody well knew it! I'm the ugly man - aren't I?!

GIBLET:
No! I was simply remarking...

DONALD:
Simply remarking my arse! You think I'm ugly don't you?!

GIBLET:
No! I just...

DONALD:
Admit it! You think I've got a face like a dropped chicken pie!

GIBLET:
Well... I wouldn't say chicken.

DONALD:
Aha! I knew it!

GIBLET:
Look, I was just...

DONALD:
Just?! Just?!!! You were just breaking my heart - that's what you were just!

GIBLET:
What?!

DONALD:
That's right! You've broken my heart! I had so many plans for us! We could have made it! I was going to introduce you to my parents this weekend, but now?... Now I can't even look at you!

GIBLET:
I beg your pardon?

DONALD:
It's too late for sorry now! I'm leaving you, and I'm taking the kids with me!

GIBLET:
Kids?

DONALD SNATCHES THE TOY CAR UP FROM THE BENCH.

DONALD:
And if you want this - you'll just have to go through your lawyer!

DONALD STEPS INTO THE ROAD AND WAVES HIS HAND.

DONALD:
Taxi!

A PURPLE RENAULT CLEO COMES TO A SCREETCHING HALT IN FRONT OF HIM, THE CAR STEREO PUMPING OUT A CHEEKY-GIRLS SONG.

AFTER A MOMENT, THE MUSIC STOPS AND DONALD GETS INTO THE CAR.

GIBLET LOOKS AROUND IN DISBELIEF.

THE CAR REMAINS STATIONARY.

AN EXTREMELY UGLY MAN APPROACHES AND SITS BESIDE GIBLET.

UGLY MAN: (TO GIBLET)
Are you alright mate?

GIBLET FROWNS FOR A MOMENT BEFORE ANSWERING.

GIBLET:
I think I've just been dumped.

BOTH MEN TURN THEIR ATTENTION TO THE CAR.

FADE OUT.