Too Much Ugly People.

There’s a lot of ugly people in the room,

There’s the smell of old wet dog and cheap perfume,

As I look among you now, I get to thinking – holy cow,

There’s a lot of ugly people in the room.

There’s a skull and crossbones hanging on the door,

And a lot of bodies lying on the floor,

There’s a drunk behind the bar, with a double barrelled scar,

There’s a lot of ugly people near and far.

If you’re ugly and you know it,

Grab your bulbous nose and blow it,

Flick your cauliflower ears,

And pluck your dangly nasal hairs,

And pat your little bald head,

Don’t look now, your eyes are red,

And there’s a lot of ugly people in my bed.

There’s just too much ugly people in this room,

It looks like poe-faced ugly season’s in full bloom,

As I look among you now, I get to thinking – holy cow,

There’s just too much ugly people in this room.

Will the ugly people stand and take a bow,

And smile as much as your face will allow,

I don’t mean to cause a fuss,

But it’s a case of them or us,

And there’s a lot of ugly people on my bus.

There’s no need to lose a stone,

Just look around you’re not alone,

We’re ugly people every one,

And we’ll be ugly ‘til we’re gone,

And so we may as well just cheer,

And drink a barrel full of beer,

‘cause there’s a lot of ugly people up in here.

We’re ugly, we’re ugly,

We’re cock-eyed and we’re pudgy,

We got corned beef legs and rashes,

We got numerous stains and splashes,

As I look among you now,

I get to thinking – god knows how,

But I’m just one of the ugly people – holy cow!